The dumbest comic book characters
Happy to see you again! I am Steve Gustafson and if you like chatting about anything comic book related then you have come to the right place. Every week we cover something in the industry and I always appreciate your input in the comments section below.
The last time we discussed our Top 10 Friendships in Comics. Here’s what some of you had to say:
redhotrash: “Cable and Domino. She’s a great assistant and probably the only person Cable trusts. The tension they / they don’t want is minimized and it’s more of a war buddy story. “
Blake Jarvis: “cap and bucky not in the top 10 that ridiculous plus cage and iron fist should be number 1 because there are friendships even with the fact that there are differences of origin, race or social status”
JackOfClubs: “Rocket & Groot, Donatello & Professor Honeycutt / Fugitoid come to mind… Who can forget Archie & Jughead ?! Bruce Banner & Rick Jones, Tony Stark & Wyatt Wingfoot to name a few. Even Danny Ketch and Johnny Blaze were fun.
Earl Chatterton: “Kitty Pryde and Illyana Rasputin have always been one of my favorites. It’s been complicated, with Illyana getting older, then waning, then killed, then again… but it’s always their friendship that returns. Illyana is still a psychopath thanks to her Darkchylde side, but Kitty’s stability and down to earth warmth is one of the main reasons she’s always on the safe side.
Kate Bishop and America Chavez have become two of my favorite “new” Marvel characters, and their relationship is perfect. A lot of fans want to see their relationship go in the direction of romance, and that would be nice, but I like what they have right now. They clash and they couldn’t be more different in many ways, but they never stop being there for each other when needed.
Ken Wood: “Some other great friendships in the comics:
Batman and Robin / Nightwing / Red Hood
Batman and catwoman
Cyclops and Wolverine
Wolverine and Jean Gray
Wolverine and Jubilee
Sunspot and cannonball ”
Noodle: “Your first two are there. When I think of “comic book buddies” in Marvel and DC, these are the best for every promotion on my mind.
I would also add Superboy and Robin. Supersons is such a fantastic concept and book.
Some awesome comments last week! Thanks for the contribution and keep it up!
This week we are discussing …
The dumbest comic book characters
Did you catchThe suicide squad? Pretty good, right? It proves that you don’t need Batman or Superman to tell a fun and entertaining story. You just need some dark, weird, silly characters that people kind of care about.
Silly characters. Make these silly heroes because my roster grew too bloated as I started to get everyone together, so no Swarm or The Asbestos Lady. I’m saving this for another column.
My selections are a mixture of powers, origins and stupid appearances. Let’s get Groot. Rocket, and Howard the duck out of the way. While Howard and Rocket stand out among their anthropomorphic group, Groot is a talking tree. Compared to other characters on this list, these three characters could be considered quite normal.
Like Hell cow. Dracula drinks cow’s blood, killing her. The cow is buried and then appears with the urge to kill Dracula. Yes. What would you say Tetanus? The power to teleport is one of the most powerful and makes him a valued member of the Inhumans. I don’t remember if it was a giant bulldog or someone who mutated into a canine. At one point, he was one or the other.
As they move around, silly and weird superheroes take on many forms.
To take Brother Power the Geek. A superhero dummy. Created by DC in the late 1960s, the concept behind Brother Power is largely derived from that of Mary Shelley Frankenstein. At the same time, creator Joe Simon was also trying to capture the kind of characterization of “wandering outcast philosopher” that made Marvel Comics’ Silver Surfer a cult hit among the student crowd of the time. Quick Note: Does anyone find a naked silver man riding a surfboard in space a little silly?
Back to Brother Power. In order to ride the hippie counterculture buzz, Brother Power was created. Originally an abandoned mannequin in an empty tailor shop, the store was taken over by hippies Nick Cranston and Paul Cymbalist, who dressed the model in Paul’s wet and bloody “hip threads” to keep them from shrinking. The mannequin is struck by lightning and Brother Power comes to life with super power and speed. Today, Brother Power is considered more of a punchline, having been used sporadically over the years. I have no doubt that he will get his own relaunch someday and find some sort of TV glory.
I went back and forth on the list The cursed patrol. The original group was labeled “odd” and “weird,” but no stranger than any other group of characters. For me, the Doom Patrol really got weird when Grant Morrison got on board. That’s when we got characters like Crazy Jane (sixty-four multiple personalities, each with their own set of superpowers.), Danny the Street (a lively, sentient “place” that can teleport to and fro. any place.), The Quiz (every power you’ve never thought of), Mr. Nobody (slowly empties the sanity of everyone around him), and many more. While Ambush Bug was part of the team, he was weird long before. And one of my favorites.
Seriously, look for Ambush Bug’s first miniseries. It’s… hard to explain, but very enjoyable.
Bras-Fall-Off Boy will seem familiar to you thanks to The suicide squad but the power of this DC character makes you scratch your head. Hailing from the planet Lallor, Arm-Fall-Off Boy is exactly what the name suggests. He has the ability to detach his limbs with a quick pop and uses the limb to fight crime. He tried for the Legion of Superheroes but, oddly enough, they were successful. The Legion has been a constant source of somewhat odd heroes. Bouncing boy (it can bounce), Matter Eater Boy (can eat almost any amount of matter in almost any form), Infectious girl (infect others with various diseases while they themselves remain immune to its effects), Colored child (change the color of whatever he wants), Rainbow girl (can wield the mysterious power of the emotional spectrum, meaning she has the ability to give herself unpredictable mood swings) and a host of other people from the future had dumb powers and gave off a weird vibe.
The Legion isn’t the only team with stupid members. The X-Men have had more than their fair share. To take Zero. Although he seems to have finally found his purpose in today’s X books, his power is the ability to understand, translate and read all languages. Great if you’re traveling the world or talking to islands, but not that cool when fighting a supervillain. Then you have Label. His power ? He can force people to flee uncontrollably from an object or person of his choice. When Tag uses his power, he feels the urge to say, “You are. ” Pleasant. Speaking of nice, Maggott is a strange mutant. It has a hollow digestive cavity that contains a pair of semi-sensitive slugs. When they go outside, they use an enzyme to digest any solid object and turn it into energy for Maggott. A few other X-folk that also stand out are Zeitgeist (spits sour vomit out of his mouth), Anarchist (secrete acidic sweat which allows it to project acidic bursts of energy), and Dead girl (cannot be killed).
When it comes to being foolish, the planets have to show up. DC Mogo leading the way. As a member of the Green Lantern Corps, Mogo impresses when it comes time to take a group photo. Seriously, a sentient planet has a Green Lantern ring around it and is fighting the bad guys.
Should Squirrel girl make the list? The ability to communicate with squirrels says “Yes”. She has beaten a few big hitters in the Marvel Universe but that doesn’t take away from her quirk. In fact, she might be my favorite character of all. Next to The Dogwelder.
Have you never heard of the Dogwelder? He is the superhero who welds dogs to the faces of criminals. Now he takes the cake.
Utah! I can not forget Flaming carrot, whose creator Bob Burden calls the character “the world’s first surreal superhero!” I can’t go too far in the freestanding pool because we would be here all day. But I must end with The tick… Because he’s awesome.
Suffice to say that I have named more big names and I’ll leave the rest to you. Who did I forget?
That’s all the time I have. See you next week!